Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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