I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the day after is always just damage control
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
