You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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