I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
