did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits