sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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