Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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