We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
