Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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