weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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