another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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