i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I need moral support for this bender
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
