Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
