Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
