So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
