White coat. Heels.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
