please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
