HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
