I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
either way he was missing a nipple.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
