She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
