Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
