Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
