I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
