I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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