new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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