you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
