Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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