:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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