does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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