I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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