Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
