You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
