I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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