Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
