Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
