is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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