You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize