oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize