Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
