ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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