there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
