so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
