so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
