Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sobbing to NWA
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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