U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
