Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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