Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
