who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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