if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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