So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize