Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize