I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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