i just had sex bonerless
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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