i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
