Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
