i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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