Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
