if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
