What did we do last night that was yellow?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
