Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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