Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
