If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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