I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm at about main and main street
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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