That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
