youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
