At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No subtext here. People are naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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